Chronic Updates
11/8/01
I HAVE BEEN SMOKING ALOT of (good-thankgod!) pot recently.
And then there's always a good with the bad...
Many are led to believe that a more moderate lifestyle is attainable by avioding the typical high-stress jobs, i.e. police/fire fighter, prosecutors/(some) criminal lawyers, ER doctors and nurses, the people that diffuse bombs and land mines, employees of Martha Stewart, Inc., dot-com start-ups, etc. While my job is not listed above (and its stresses and demands are little), my hobbies -- reclining, eating, watching/browsing porn, smoking pot, maintaining my site -- are also rather mellow, by nature.
Nowdays "DNS" and "server issues" have me on the phone with greater frequency and urgency than any of my "dry days", and what started out as a simple site (design and verbage), has driven me deeper into my complex addiction(s). I am now a tech support junkie with server pangs/system pings, hoping to get off on the next sexy tech support voice.
If pot is the "gateway drug" I wish it led me to a heroin overdose rather than an hourly bill that only a drug dealer could afford.
10/18/01
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Say it ain't so, Snoopy
"...a subsequent search turned up six bags of the
green stuff, estimated at 200 grams..."
Knowing Snoop, it was the GOOD STUFF. I extend my condolence for your loss. |
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10/12/01
$ 3,500,000.00+
Today Howard Stern presented Mayor Rudy Guiliani with a check for 3.5 MILLION DOLLARS to assist in aiding victims of the Sept. 11th tragedy. Thanks to everyone who gave/gives/will give!!!!!
10/5/01
FEEL THE GREEN!
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At last count The Howard Stern Show collected over 2.7 MILLION dollars for the victims and families of the Sept. 11 attack. You only have a few days to call 877-280-9200. Spread a little good green, my friends -- it goes a long way. |
9/21/01
Taking a cue from Martha Stewart Enterprises, "let's turn those lemons into lemonade!"
Howard Stern, whose listeners number in the millions, asks that everyone give "just $5" to provide some relief to the families of the police, firefighters, and EMS. (Just imagine, over the weekend they could raise MILLIONS for people who have LOST so much.) Let's pull together -- CALL 877-280-9200 and give some cash to the HOWARD STERN RELIEF FUND. Thank You
8/23/01
A method behind the madness.
Drink deep from this font of knowledge, my bretheren.
Thanks for the info-packed link, Golem.
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8/14/01
Similarly...
"Who needs a wife when you have a life?"
8/3/01
What are YOU looking for in a soulmate?
"You know what's great about her? She doesn't talk too much."
Gary Dell Abate, commenting on porn-star Tabitha Stevens' winning "personality"
The Howard Stern Show
air date: 08/03/01 on E!)
5/14/01
Low blow to our High
read here:
"High Court Says NO to Medical Marijuana Exception"
If anything could get this phat slacker off the couch and onto the computer it would have to be something like this -- yes, you could say they lit a fire under my ass.
* pics from the Cannabis Cup 2000 will be posted ASAP (slacker-time) -- sorry for the massive delay. Relocation is a bitch!
The Quasi-Cold-Turkey Chronic-les
start date: 7/3/00
end date: 11/15/00 (Cannabis Cup 2000)
7/12
Day 10
no data (Oops...)
Something better tasting came my way...and I lost count...too many to keep track of, honestly...
Did I fall off the wagon?
It was more like a blind leap.
7/11
Day 9
8 bowls..."something wonderful is going to happen"
7/10
Day 8
8 bowls -- After cutting out smoking indoors; on the couch in front of the T.V., in my bedroom listening to the stereo, in a hot bath after an invigorating float in the pool, my bowl/day count has painstakingly dropped.
I have decided to add another restriction.
In attempting to collect accurate and (painfully) honest data on my daily consumption, I have produced some vaulable information. Between the hours of 06:00 - 10:30 (approx.) I am compelled, on a weekdaily basis, to listen to Howard Stern on the radio (even the oft-run "Best Of" series). This lavish morning ritual consists of:
1. waking up to the Stern show
2. turning the volume UP
3. taking the puppy out to sh*t
4. feeding and watering the pup
5. brewing some Lion coffee
6. rinsing out the bong
7. loading "the first bowl of the day!"
7a. Aaaahhhhhhhhhh....
8. drinking my tasty coffee
9. taking the pup out to sh*t
10. loading the next bowl (listening to The Show and laughing)
10a. repeating step 10, as necessary
Realizing this, I have decided to start taping the show, wherein I can listen to it later, minus the 20-minute commercials, and get to work on time. And besides, it's not like I'm listening to Stern live -- there's tape delay, and also endless weeks of "Best of" this time of the year...Or at least that's what I'll have to keep telling myself as I fight the urge.....
7/9
Day 7
8 bowls -- Everyone's doing it!
The Universe is speaking to me. One of my favorite shows, Sex In The City (I used to love watching this, smoking bowl after bowl, laughing my ass off), is cutting out its glamour. Why-the-long-face?-Sara-Jessica-Parker has killed character Carrie's signature cig, saying "I have been thinking about this for a while, and why not quit now...". Her motivation? A whispy haired artist that says, "I can't date someone that smokes". Will Manhattan become the next Aspen? Granola-eating-juice-drinking-baggy-jeaned geeks? What happened to short skirts, cigarettes, and Stoli martinis?
7/8
Day 6
13 bowls -- Too many hours in a day...
7/7
Day 5
12 bowls -- I slipped, it's Friday -- after-work Happy Hours!
Observation: I'm not sure if it's been more difficult cutting down, or getting an accurate bowl/day count. I can't keep track on my computer, so I have resorted to keeping a notepad and pen on me at all times. I have stopped smoking indoors, which probably helps, since I can often be found passed out in front of the TV, one hand clutching the bong, the other hand down my pants. I've read that addictions are often associated with activities...
Maybe, instead, I just might read a good book...
7/6
Day 4
11 bowls -- a breakthrough! I am receiving encouragement via e-mail -- my lungs appreciate your support.
Tips from them, sent to me, and passed down to you:
1. Bake with a brownie instead of a bongrip
2. Take vitamins. One CU reader forwarded a "healthonline" article promoting the replacement of weed with B Complex, B6, B12, Zinc Picolinate, and Manganese (Isn't THC a form of Vitamin B?)
3. Eat Healthy. Eat more proteins. Apparently drug addictions are caused by improper diet (isn't this a "which came first: chicken or the egg" argument?? -- munchies!).
4. Don't try to quit "Cold Turkey". Baby steps are better than none at all.
Thanks for your suggestions! More to come!
7/5
Day 3
15 bowls -- I decided to get an accurate count based on my typical daily (in)activity.
7/4
Day 2
14 bowls -- well, it's a holiday, and I am celebrating my projected Independence from drugs...
7/3
The Quasi-Cold-Turkey Chronic-les
Day 1
Let me first begin this ouevre by stating the obvious, "I am not trying to quit, I'm just trying to cut down...".
Why?
A. I have been smoking almost constantly, almost daily for over ten years
B. "I'm too old fer this shit"
C. I'm going to Amsterdam in the Fall and I need to "get in shape for the big one"
D. If I choose to be active I don't want to end up in ER, sans medical insurance
E. My puppy is coughing
F. My roommate is coughing
G. I live in a non-smoker environment and should probably be little more sensitive to my roommates' "healthy lifestyle"
H. I am compulsively clearing my throat
I. You can only get "so high"
J. Since I have, off-and-on, considered taking this plunge, these "Chronic-les" just might help someone else pondering their bowl-per-day diet... and of course, isn't that what the Internet is all about?...
K. It's not like I'm smoking Da' Kine everyday (of course, if I had good bud, I never would've concieved "The Cold-Turkey Chronicles")
Today, which will act as a baseline, I have consumed 4 bowls...
Twefth hour tally: 13 bowls (adjusted baseline)
6/16/00
It's Friday -- The tickets are here and it's time to CELEBRATE!!!!
Fly the friendly skies!
6/15/00
Aloha -- "...And everywhere he went he said "Aloha" in meeting or in parting. "Aloha" was a recognition of life in another. If there was life there was mana, goodness and wisdom, and if there was goodness and wisdom there was a god-quality. One had to recognize the "god of life" in another before saying "Aloha", but this was easy. Life was everywhere -- in the trees, the flowers, the ocean, the fish, the birds, the pili grass, the rainbow, the rock -- in all the world was life -- was god -- was aloha. Aloha in its gaiety, joy, happiness, abundance. Because of aloha, one gave without the thought of return; because of aloha, one had mana. Aloha had its own mana. It never left the giver but flowed freely and continuously between giver and receiver...Life had a tremendous spirituality in the paradise of the Pacific..." (from Helena G. Allen's biography of Queen Liliuokalani -- Last Queen of Hawaii)
Health Headlines
Thursday June 15 5:58 AM ET
Hawaii OK's Marijuana For Medicine
HONOLULU (AP) - Hawaii has become the first state to use legislation to approve the possession and use of marijuana for medical purposes...
Spread a little happiness as you go by...
6/01/00
Your Kind is appreciated here...
Connoisseurs of fine food and drink know where to go when they need the finest champagne and fat-free potato chips -- they turn to Rio Rancho's society princess, Ms. Darla.
Apparently this gourmande of the ground root knows good taste when she sees it, and sent site kudos and this beautiful scan of Hemp activist/stripper, Jasmine Raff, urging us to post her as the "New CU Mascot", stating, "You need pictures in that section, I think, to illustrate. Like a newspaper...".
Sounds like the bubbly's gone to her brain, as she missed the pics dotted throughout "Chronic Updates". Regardless, we always appreciate your great pictures and creative input. Thanks!
5/30/00
Everything's official!
The LunchSack has a new, faster server to sate increasing appetites and addictions
AND
My good green friends have reserved "Judges Passes" for the 13th Annual High Times Cannabis Cup, and I'm tagging along to bring it to you blow by blow!
Get the hookup:
"This year is the Goddess cup.
We have specifically chosen the goddess as our theme because we feel that the goddess promotes peace and healing to all of humanity. The plant is a female; the earth is a mother -- let's learn to respect her. So this years seminars and entertainment will feature the goddess: The healing energy for the new millennium." (Brought to you by HT)
...and He said: Go forth and heal thyself! (Revelations 4:20 ; 7:24)
4/26/00
Do you live in DC, design websites, and own a iMac? You can get your dream job working for the freedom-fighting organization NORML. Check it out
4/6/00
Houston Pot Bust Update:
Entertainment Headlines
Wednesday April 05 08:18 PM EDT
Whitney's Pot Charge on Hold
To charge or not to charge?
That is the question Hawaiian prosecutors are mulling when it comes to Whitney Houston.
Prosecutors said today they want more information before deciding whether to
bring pot possession charges against the pop diva stemming from her infamous airport incident in January.
Houston and entourage were cruising through the Keahole-Kona International Airport when security guards seized one of her bags that allegedly contained half an ounce of marijuana. Because the airport rent-a-cops can only bust passengers for airport-security-specific crimes Houston was reportedly able to board a plane and fly away to San Francisco before the real police arrived to arrest her.
The empty-handed police turned the case over to prosecutors last month after completing their investigation. Possession of 15 grams of marijuana could lead to a drug charge of promotion of a detrimental drug, according to the Hilo's Tribune-Herald. The petty misdemeanor is punishable by up to 30 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.
Prosecutors aren't rushing into anything, though. They say they have follow-up questions for some of the witnesses. And they are waiting for lab tests and fingerprint analysis.
The potential charges come as rumors swirl over the reason behind Houston's non-appearance at the Oscars. The official reason was that she had to beg off due to throat problems, but several sources, including E! Online's Ted Casablanca, report that she was actually fired due to erratic work habits.
4/3/00
Spring forward, Fall back.
"...don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour...it's not just a good idea, it's the law!"
According to BaBaBooey* this public service announcement had to be played on old radio stations since some people would not accept the time change.
(Now you have an extra hour to chill in the evening)
3/28/00
The Spitfire Tour, promoted by Andy Dick on the Howard Stern Morning Show*, is touring college campuses nationwide in an attempt to get the young and impressionable to Turn On and Tune In to free speech. This includes promotion of marijuana legalization by Dick, Kennedy of MTV, pot activist Todd McCormick, and of course, Woody Harrelson. To find out more follow the link to "Spitfire Tour" from this homepage.
For some reason Dick was particularly testy when asked the usual questions regarding his homo ("bi" as he always points out) sexuality, after Stern took a few unfriendly phone calls for Dick. A Drug-free Dick then proclaimed that this was his last time on their show and left hurt and upset.
I guess rehab is not for everybody (Chris Farley was his sponsor so I'm guessing that Dick did not have the best support system).
*Today's Howard Stern Morning Show was live.
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Stupid Quotes
"I have a brain tumor"
"Where is it?"
"It's in my ass. I have a brain tumor in my ass"
3/27/00
If you don't listen to Howard Stern In The Morning* you should start NOW!
This morning on the radio show a woman called in, talked about a "planned rape" with someone that she met through Prodigy, and proceeded to aurally pleasure an entire nation.
It started out when she met the guy in an online Prodigy chat session, followed by hours-long phone sex for weeks, and ending with a planned rape scenario (in her words, "every woman's fantasy"), which included a signed letter stating that she planned, setup, and wanted to be raped by her sight-unseen chat buddy. She desribed everything from her Victoria's Secret high-cut undies and white baby doll nightie (later slashed off by her "assailant"), to the pillow placed under her stomach while she lay tied, spread-eagle on her stomach. Replete with duct tape, toys, batteries, condoms, and hot candle wax, the 3 hour passion play was described as the best sex she ever had.
Apparently it was also the last.
It seemed surprising that after an encounter like this that they did not get together again. She said that her sexy rapist had "been out of town alot, been too busy to hook up, etc."
And we see why...
After e-mailing her picture to the paranoid Stern, via Stuttering John's, and via Gary's e-mail addresses, Stern and cohorts saw what they summed up as "a typical housewife, stout, older, looks like Jackie Martling with giant breasts.
For a moment we were all blissful in our ignorance, and chubby in our pants.
* The Howard Stern Radion Show airs live (usually), every weekday 6AM - early afternoon.
** today's show was from "Best of Stern".
3/15/00
FoodTV Faux Pas
In Food Today: Stuffed Cabbage with Spicy Beef, aired 3/15/00 03:30 a.m. ET
David Rosengarten to David Bashy, head chef Knickerbockers, NYC
"Have you hugged your beef today?"
his reply, "Yes, I have hugged my beef today."
FoodTV -- "It's Full of Flavor"
2/28/00
I have not only been writing less, I have been smoking less...something needs to change...
Candidate race update:
Mc Cain is Anti-Human. Not only will he withold medical marijaunan from the sick and suffering (often times terminally ill) citizens of our nation, he will also prevent women from getting abortions. He thinks it is better that women should bear and raise children that they do not want. Does this asshole think raising a child is a fucking picnic even for parents who wanted and planned to have children?
Where the FUCK do you think alot of psychos and criminals come from?!
On a lighter note, it seems that Whitney Houston was offended by Fat Rosie's pot bust joke at the Grammys and gave the big-headed bitch the finger (which was edited out for television). Bobby B fidgeted and looked nervously at his queen bee, leaving some to wonder if he was pulling a Puffy -- letting someone else take the fall for his stash.
2/15/00
I hope you had a pleasurable Valentine's Day. Whether wild times were had with a lover, or you just used this "holiday" as an excuse to party, every day should be a celebration of the senses. Here's a splendid trip to extend the festivities!
2/11/00
"It's Friday...!", and for those of you who've read any of the 'Updates, you should know what I will be up to this weekend. On that note, I'd like to pass along NORML's public service announcement. I think I'll also dabble in the kitchen around some pots and pans, and such. This bloke has been rather inspirational, not to mention that if you watch the end of any of his shows, the look on his face -- mulit-orgasmic -- can turn anyone on to butter (for culinary purposes).
2/10/00
Capricorn (my sign) :
You are especially high on life as love, pleasure...(the rest is insignificant)
High every day, pleasure through porn, love (?)...
1/31/00
An excerpt from a hilarious story, ongoing...
The tiny apartment was filled with marijuana smoke and posters of several rapping criminals. Jessica pressed a joint to her full lips...
1/28/00
It's Friday!! And the reviews for Next Friday are not good. I'll have to check it out...unfortunately one of the best "drug movies", was made by the fucked up pedophile-father, Woody Allen. The "orgasmatron" in Sleeper reminded me of the first times I got drunk, stoned, shroomed, and took Acid. That wonderous orb brought back alot of feel-good memories...
1/25/00
Front Page Headlines
Top Story from Reuters
Jan 25
Surprise Storm Cripples U.S. East Coast
Intermitent rain, scattered drizzles. As the chill sets in I will be blazing and baking. To add to the toasty atmosphere, I have some logs kindling in the fireplace, fresh water in my bong, and baked treats in the oven. Nothing could be better than the smell of cookies in the oven, the warmth and glow from the fireplace, and a nice buzz to help you soak it all in on a cold winter's day.
Here's a simple recipe for my Slacker-Style Cookies-Treats
Necessary Ingredients: 1 tube of cookie dough, good bud
Feeds: 1-8
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees (approx.)
- Break and crumble your moderately tasting herb (since some tubes of refrigerated cookie dough can bake up to 24 cookies, the amount and quality of the herb that you use is dependent on individual tastes/budgets -- naturally, the better your weed tastes, the better your cookie will taste). You can also put your herb in a coffee grinder (note -- while some THC lingers in the container of the coffee grinder, simply swipe your finger along it's surface and lick...Mmmmm, Ahhhhh...)
- Combine your fine/rough-ground herb with the cookie dough (dough/herb proportions are roughly 1 tube/8 Tbsp.)
- Spoon onto cookie sheet
- (If you have really tasty bud break a couple nugs off and roll them into the center of some of the cookie dough balls before baking -- it's a wonderful surprise!)
- Bake for 8-10 mins. (approx.)
Enjoyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
1/24/00
Al Gore smoked pot regularly before he decided that he did not like it. You know, most of my friends that tried it and, surprisingly, did not like it, were usually the same: they took a couple hits on a joint (usually at a lame party) and decided they did not like that initial feeling of "paranoia", and that was it for them. Too bad Gore couldn't just say, "I tried it, I liked it, I smoke it, and I will legalize it".
1/21/00
Hemp (definition):
"To have some hemp in your pocket." To have luck on your side in the most adverse circumstances. The phrase is French ("Avoir de la corde-de-pendu dans sa poche"), referring to the popular notion that hemp brings good luck. From the Brewer Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, originally published in 1895, reissued in 1993 by Wordsworth Editions, Ltd. ISBN 1-85326-3001.
Capricorn (my sign):
Spread your wings and celebrate the new conditions that are brewing behind the scenes in your life. Love and romance may be just around the corner, and could come as a result of a public situation or career opportunity. You have a temporary grand trine of protection surrounding you today. This is one of the luckiest aspects in astrology. It describes your ability to get your needs met in an emotional situation, one that will bring an expansion of your lifestyle. Take advantage of your good fortune.
Finally, the Universe speaking to ME!!!
1/20/00
Since I'm cutting down on inhalation I thought I'd share a quick, edible tasty-treat recipe:
Necessary Ingredients: cracker, cheese, good bud
Feeds: 1
- Place a slice of cheese (preferably something mild, like Monterey Jack) on a cracker
- Break/Cut a small "nug" off your good-tasting bud
and place on top of cheese and cracker
- Place in microwave for 7-10 seconds (until cheese melts)
- Pop in mouth, repeat if necessary
1/18/00
Presidential hopeful McCain does not support the use of medical marijuana. Howard Stern and Robin Quivers discussed the possibility that since he had endured a great degree of trauma and physical abuse in Vietnam, and proudly lives to tell about it, he may not have the compassion to consider an AIDS or cancer patient's need to smoke a joint, or eat a pot brownie, just to ease the daily pain of their life-threatening (and often-times fatal) illness. If you want info on this visit NORML before casting your ballot.
1/17/2000
Entertainment Headlines
Monday January 17 01:15 PM EST
Whitney Houston's Pot Bust?
In the odd coupling that is Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, the missus usually leaves the trouble-making to her husband. But, for a change last week, Whitney was the one allegedly misbehaving.
According to a Hawaiian newspaper, the pop diva was busted carrying pot while at the Keahole-Kona International Airport, but managed to board a plane and fly away before police could arrest her.
Last Tuesday, security guards at the airport asked Houston to open her bag for routine inspection, and discovered 15.2 grams of marijuana inside, Hilo's Tribune-Herald reported Sunday. Guards seized the bag and tried to detain the Grammy-winner, but she got on her United Airlines flight to San Francisco anyway.
The plane reportedly took off a full 45 minutes before the cops arrived.
The newspaper report says the private company that provides security for Kehole-Kona can only arrest passengers for airport-security-specific crimes.
The case has been turned over to Hawaii County prosecutor's office, but it could be a month before any charges are filed. Possession of 15 grams of marijuana could lead to a drug charge of promotion of a detrimental drug, according to the Tribune-Herald. The petty misdemeanor is punishable by up to 30 days in jail and a $1,000 fine.
No comment from the Houston camp on the alleged pot bust.
Mugwump observation: Not only is she a pop music diva, she is also the queen of good green. Jetting between Maui Wowie and Northern California bud is definitely travellinginstyle!
1/14/00
The weekend is here! I just saw the Foo Fighters' new video, "Learning to Fly", and it reminded me of some wonderful weed moments. Directed by Jesse Peretz, the scenarios once again feature lead singer, Dave Grohl. In the music video a bag of pot is mistakenly brewed in the coffee maker, instead of the usual, cheap-tasting, commercial airline "house blend", and the passengers, pilots, and flight attendants enjoy "flying the friendly skies". Reminiscing, I thought, "how sweet", as I reached for my bong and lighter. Isn't it great how pot is such a happy drug. Especially when you get something that tastes good!
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