Chronic Updates
9/22/03
Stay out of Beaver!
BeaverFalls, PA, that is. To say this beaver has a nasty bite is putting it mildly. Poor Tommy Chong was setup and nabbed by an undercover bones broker in Beaver, and will now have to pay and stay at a federal lockup for distributing his dope wares. Things ARE tough all over.
7/13/03
Lives saved: a life lost. Ohmygod -- this is happening in Berkeley, no less! WhattheFuck is going on in Northern CA?!
5/23/03
MI
A bountiful spring, and a flirtatious read...
3/22/03
While mildly amused by the traveling comedy show "Stuttering John and Friends", featuring Artie Lange and Crank Yanker's own Jimmy Florentine, what really caught my eye was the joint that was thrown up onstage to Howard Stern side-kick Stuttering John (after he told the audience that while he appreciated the rounds of drinks from the crowd, what he'd really like was a joint). Not a minute passed before a "kind" crowd member walked up to the stage and placed a fatty at his feet. Unfortunately the unappreciated toker was escorted back to his seat by a bouncer before being acknowledged, and that same bouncer took the joint (and probably pocketed it). Aaawwww, once again a good deed goes unnoticed.
2/26/03
Recently revealed on "The Howard Stern Show", supermodel Frederique Van Der Wal (aka Hoogstraten) put to rest the rumor that she slept with "The Donald", and, more importantly, fueled our fantasies after acknowledging that she:
A. Occasionally smokes pot (she's Dutch)
B. Likes to make sex tapes
C. Kissed a girl
There are three new guidelines for qualifying as a supermodel.
1/30/03
Get Blunt!
Guess who's back? Yes, back again!!! It's finally reunion time for the brothers Chronic -- Cheech and Chong. Thank God, cause after hearing Snoop Dogg tell a bewildered Howard Stern, and an even more disbelieving Jimmy Kimmel that he's off the sticky-icky I thought all my heroes were becoming church elders.
Quest For Fire cutie Rae Dawn Chong, and daughter of Tommy, wrote the screenplay for "Get Blunt", which finally looks good enough for Cheech to hit. This after numerous attempts on Tommy's part to re-unite with his toke twin, and ultimately hold pathetic replacement tryouts that made the original duo look like Chang and Ang where one couldn't exist without the other.
Look for the pair to pass out in theatres near you! In the meantime we'll wait and bake...
Need more?
check out The Chronic Archives
3 more years
of Livin' on the Edge
of my couch.
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